4 Myths That Hold Us Back: The Lies Keeping You Stuck

Are you unknowingly believing the four myths? These lies that keep us stuck can hold you back from your most extraordinary life.

If you’ve ever whispered, ‘Why can’t I get it together?’ or felt like you’re working hard but going nowhere, these lies may be the reason. As these lies keep us stuck, slowly erasing our identity in a way we don’t even notice. I call this the Identity Eraser Effect.

However, way too many of us are feeling like the days are passing us by. We feel stuck and wonder where things made a hard turn away from what we dreamed our life would look like.

There are many false myths we carry with us, but four can easily sneak into our everyday lives and keep us stuck, from achieving our goals, and not like ourselves very much. These are the lies that keep us stuck.

Moreover, we believe these four lies that hold us back because the world tells us they are true.

However, it’s because they are living with them too, entangled in the same lies that keep us stuck.

Myths Are Blocking Your Greatness, Keeping You Stuck In Living A Lie

Additionally, everything we seek comes from knowing who we are, not just on the surface but on a deep level. Thus, we must understand who we truly are when we are honest and not hiding.

Furthermore, we must look at the truths and the lies we believe—including the lies that keep us stuck—and face all of ourselves, the good and the ugly. 

Once I realized this fact, it transformed my life. So today, let’s take a look at four myths that so many of us believe. Consequently, we believe these at different times in our lives, in various scenarios, or when we are around specific people.

In addition, we need to become aware of the truth whenever or whoever brings out these lies that keep us stuck in our belief system.

Truth sets us free, allowing us to let go of past baggage, overcome roadblocks, and change who we are and what our lives look like.

Specifically, myths three and four were big lies that controlled my life for so long; they were like concrete blocks tied to my feet, keeping me stuck and suffocating. As a result, they made me feel unloved and unwanted.

They stopped me from going after things that I really wanted. And they made me feel less confident in myself and less worthy of my dreams. I still have moments where those lies that keep us stuck try to keep me down, but I fight back with the truth now, and I don’t give them the attention they try so hard to win.  

Stop Being Stuck

Myth One: I am Not Smart Enough

Truth: Intelligence is NOT Measured by Our Ability to Solve Complex Problems

I hid my ideas in meetings—even in parenting groups—because I thought I wasn’t ‘smart enough’ to speak up. It turns out that I was measuring myself with the wrong yardstick.

In addition, we do not measure our intelligence by how “book” smart we are, how quickly we can solve a math equation, or how much we know about weather patterns or intransitive verbs. This form of intelligence is valuable, but does not encompass an accurate measure of fulfillment and intellect. 

Therefore, a much more helpful tool for measuring one’s intelligence is the attitude one carries each day. 

It is the ability to live each day effectively, be present in the moment, and understand that each day is a gift (given to us by our Heavenly Father).  

Myth Two: I Can’t Control How I Feel

Truth: Our Feelings Are Not Just Something That Happens To Us

Feelings are reactions to our choices. We are in charge of our emotions; therefore, we do not have to live with self-defeating attitudes or beliefs. 

Many of us were never taught emotional ownership—we were taught to react, not reflect. But midlife invites us into mastery.

We can choose how we react to something, someone, or an event, and therefore, we can determine what feelings we will feel. The best way to practice this is by understanding a simple principle: Your beliefs come from your thoughts, and you can control your thoughts. 

Therefore, you can manage your feelings. 

Your Mind Is Your Own

We can control what we think; even when something “pops” into our head, we can think about it or dismiss it and move on to another thought.

If you are unsure of this, ask yourself, “Who controls my thoughts? Me? My spouse? My boss?”. 

If that still doesn’t get you, try this: think and say something different. When you are thinking a negative thought, those sneaky lies that keep us stuck, like, “I screwed up again.” try to think that thought at the same time you are saying out loud, “I did my best.” It is impossible to do both of those actions at the same time. 

Your thoughts are your own. You are in control of them, and they are unique to you. You can keep, share, change, move on from, or contemplate them. 

Your thoughts control your feelings, which means that if you have high-quality ideas, you will have higher-quality feelings, which means a higher-quality life! Neuroscience supports this—our thoughts quite literally rewire our brains.

You must understand that controlling your mind and life is entirely up to you. When you choose to think of life-giving thoughts, you feel and behave in positively transformative ways. You have allowed yourself to establish the life you desire.

Myth Three: We are only living if we are doing

Truth: We are not living if we aren’t in the present now! 

This lie hits moms hard. We confuse busyness with worthiness—and wear burnout like a badge.

In contrast, we are not living if we aren’t in the present now! This moment is all there is for present-moment living, which is at the heart of effective and in-charge living. 

Moreover, each second is an opportunity to live. We have been conditioned to live long-term, always striving to reach a future goal, a next moment, or a payoff. Even though planning, preparing, and setting goals are essential, they aren’t all we should focus on. 

Have Control of Your Life

Consequently, we cannot be so focused on preparing for the future that we do not enjoy the present; that kind of thinking and living is not controlled. 

Moreover, always striving for future happiness, the next goal, and not enjoying the present moment, the beautiful now we live in, we allow fear and uncertainty to be in control.

Future happiness is ever elusive because the future is never present. There can be value in our past and in preparing for the future; however, we often never reap the value of the present moment. 

Take a breath and ask: What would change if I believed presence was more powerful than productivity?

How often have you been “relaxing” and thinking about all you should be doing and what you haven’t gotten done? 

Taking time to talk with your kids is pushed aside by rushing to get them fed before soccer, screaming at them to get their stuff together, get their shoes on, and struggling to find their other socks. We cram our lives full of things to do; we don’t allow space to live and enjoy the moment.

“We’ve confused busyness with worthiness and wear burnout like a badge.”

Be Present To be In Control

Because we are busy, we haven’t allowed ourselves time to notice we are letting our present opportunity for happiness, joy, and quality moments slip by.

We’ve been led to believe we must be doing and learning, achieving, and being jammed-packed minute by minute; otherwise, we are not productive enough. These are more lies that keep us stuck. 

Ask yourself, “What is it I want to achieve?”. 

Is it a list of things to do, the guilt of not checking all your to-dos off? 

A child who is involved in a long list of activities? Would you prefer dinner conversation, memories of walks through the neighborhood, bedtime stories, or snuggling with your spouse? 

Do you want to achieve happiness, quality moments, or peace? To control your life and live the life you desire, you must first discover what you truly want for your life and who you want to be; then, you must let go of the things that don’t fit into that design. 

Start living and stop waiting until you get your list checked off.

Myth Four: I must strive for perfection

Truth: You must strive to stay alive by growing

By contrast, striving for perfection kills us; it can motivate us for only so long before it suffocates. 

The need to reach perfection will kill your joy and any hope of confidence. It will kill any plans because perfection is unachievable. And once that is discovered, it can kill a person (spiritually, mentally, and sometimes physically). 

Perfectionism often masks a deeper fear—that we’re not enough as we are. But you were created with intention, not to prove your worth through flawlessness. The Invisible Mama lives in the shadow of perfection, always striving but never arriving.

When we strive to grow, we can positively revolutionize our lives because we aren’t transforming due to incompleteness or repairing our inadequacies. 

When we grow, we live, thriving, improving, becoming more fabulous, and experiencing life with happiness, peace, and anticipation of the possibilities. 

Think about a piece of coral; it is alive. Now, think about a dead plant; it does not change. Interestingly, the dead plant doesn’t have to remain as a dead plant. It, too, can turn into something better: the substance we know as coal (coal is significant in steel production, cement manufacturing, and many more uses worldwide). (source) (source)

Stop Being Stuck: Let Go of the Myths to Achieve Your Best Life

To conclude, we all have moments when we feel stuck, overwhelmed, and frustrated about something in our lives, or sometimes our lives. 

Therefore, we must ask ourselves: Do we think that way because we have allowed ourselves to believe a lie—the lie of perfection, the myth of staying busy, the lie that we aren’t intelligent enough, or a lie we believe based on our feelings? These are the lies that keep us stuck.

Above all, you can be in control of your life. You get to decide what your life will look like and FEEL. 

Growth allows you to strive for personal mastery, meaning there is no pressure to reach perfection to kill you or keep you dead. Growth as your motivation means you get to be the decider of your life. 

However, it takes a decision and constant effort to grow and not fall back into the trap we have been living in for so long.

Finally, the great news is that you can overcome your roadblocks and improve, transform, and live the life you desire and love.

Need help breaking free from the lies that keep you stuck? Download your free check-in or listen to Episode 11 of the podcast.

To sum up, think about the thoughts you allow into your mind and how they make you feel.

Discover 7 more truths that will help you boost your confidence and help you on your transformation journey.

Your freedom begins when you start questioning what you’ve always believed.

Ready to keep going? Read this next: Stop Wondering and Start Embracing Your True Self